Ambien. No doubt about it.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
