My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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