i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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