hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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