I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
