i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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