she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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