Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Please, let me fuck your mom
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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