for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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