who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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