If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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