I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize