I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
