you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
