i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
