is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
