CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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