I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
