More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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