i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
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Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
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i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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