that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize