he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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