i just wanna soil my oats bro
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
