those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
