The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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