Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't deserve a penis
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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