i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it's like heaven, but drunker
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It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
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I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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