The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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