apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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