I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just cropdusted the office
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
