even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
