This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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