I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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