She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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