there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
