Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
