If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
