Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
