Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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