Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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