I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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