Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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