My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize