You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize