I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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