if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
