I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
