i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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