If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
