It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
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Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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