How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
