what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
