i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize