Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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