i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
