Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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