you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
