But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
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you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Dick very happy bro
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