Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
