I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
