you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
