So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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