i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
