My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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