So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
