And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
