Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize