I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
